Far North Friday #74: Words You Can’t Say

Have you ever been to an event where you get so excited that you cheer and yell loudly? Maybe it was a fabulous fireworks display, or a sports event, or a music concert. But, despite the excitement, there are words we try not to use in public. George Carlin explored some of those words in a comedic skit entitled “7 words you can’t say on TV”.

On a July 1st weekend, in the mid 1990’s, I drove from Sudbury to Timmins with my younger son. He was 4 at the time. We were going to visit Bob Middleton (Photo 1), a well known person in the mineral industry. Bob invited me and others to look at some rocks that he described as “incredibly interesting drill core” (Photo 2). Because it was a long weekend, I asked my 4-year old son if he wanted to travel with me. He agreed. So, together we set off on the 4 hour drive to Timmins, listening to the Eurythmics.

Bob Middleton passed away November 19, 2021 (https://www.legacy.com/.../name/robert-middleton-obituary...). He was a geologist and a geophysicist. He was instrumental in starting up the geophysical program at the Ontario Geological Survey (OGS), long before I arrived. He was working in the mineral exploration industry when I first met him - perhaps in the 1980’s. He had a long and distinguished record of achievements.

I have several memories of Bob, but the principal memory was his passion for anything geological. My second memory was Bob’s enthusiastic use of “colourful” language, especially when he was excited. Before my son and I left for Timmins, I called Bob to let him know I would be accompanied by my 4-year old son. I asked Bob - more like begged - to constrain his enthusiastic use of colourful words in front of my son. Bob agreed.

We met Bob and others at the drill core display. Bob was great. He showed my son how to wet the rock using a water hose without spraying everyone else. For a 4 year old, it was utopia: a powerful water hose and the license to spray everything in sight - people mostly excluded! For the next 1 hour and 55 minutes, Bob launched into his description of the rock using traditionally accepted TV and geological words. You could see Bob’s enthusiasm building. He spoke more quickly. He danced from rock display to rock display without losing a word, directing my son where to point the hose - mostly excluding the geologists. I was amazed that Bob lasted 1 hour and 55 minutes without uttering a single colourful word.

You might have seen a cartoon where a steam engine boiler got hotter and hotter. The cartoon boiler expanded to hippopotamus proportions. The bolts stretched to their limit. Suddenly, the boiler exploded and all h#ll broke loose.

Well, that cartoon boiler was Bob. I could see his passion metre enter the red zone. Then, Bob exploded. The birds went quiet. The ravens dove from the sky and sought shelter in the trees. The camp dog dashed under the truck with its ears down and its tail between its legs. The bears - well, the bears just ignored Bob and continued to graze in the blueberry patch. Out of Bob’s mouth came a stream of descriptive, colourful words that “you can’t say on TV”. Bob somehow had managed to contain all those words like carbonated drink, in a warm can, on a sunny day. But, that can couldn't contain the pressure any longer. I heard a few words that were new to me! After 1 hour and 55 minutes of containing all that excitement, Bob just had to “let ‘er blow”.

 I don’t really recall what followed. I think one of the other visitors laughed and told my son to spray Bob. My son declined, but smiled. This week, I asked my son what he remembered of that visit to Timmins. He recalled Bob telling him that geologists like to be sprayed by water, but doesn’t recall much else - other than a few stories about Bob and other memorable geologists I shared with him on the drive up.

 Bob was one of those characters. For 1 hour and 55 minutes, Bob proved you can do anything - like stifling colourful words you can’t use on TV.

Squarespace: Feb 11/22; Facebook: Feb 11/22.